THE STORY OF THE SLAYYY so hey everyone! you may be wondering: wtf!? yes? I dramatically announced THE AUCTION. With some of the rhymes told (the poems in the vid), here’s the reason! THE LORE!!!!!! At some point I entered the Dragon's nest. Not sure when exactly.. that was the title of an old MMO I used to play growing up. Then we all played Skyrim right? they say the ancients are still sleeping... As of NOW it’s an archetype that I identify with through my behavior of storing treasure. […FILES…WRITINGS…MELODIES…30000 PICTURES &VIDS...] This mythical power transcended into my material experience with Bad Dragon! The beloved maker of beautiful pleasure toys. Years down the line of this work I find it funny that I named myself THE SLAYER on a whim and it went this far. fucking awesome!!! also complex. The reasons behind me being in this role had me tangled up for awhile. This brand was introduced to me through an old flame in my 2nd year of Uni (let’s call them Z). My first relationship, 10 yrs, codependent, began when I was 15. People pleasing was a pattern embedded deep within me from how I was raised. Consistently I would place the needs of others before my own. Hentai gave Z a monster fetish and that brought them to BD. Z insisted that I try the big ones- then bigger & bigger ones! I was hesitant... then seeing the gleam in their eye as they coerced me, & wanting it sooo badly to shine on me… off we rode! Thus a precedent was set that would continue to spiral into a pattern of me over-giving myself +++ disregarding my curiosities of pleasure [tantric sexuality, WOMEN!]. This created a reality of numbness and detachment from true intimacy with self or other. The desires were not mine- but became so through fulfilling another. Maybe it was one powerfully poison prick on me from the pornography industry? Or is it an inversion of simple magnetism? idk! but why does poison taste so good sometimes? I love bringing people to fulfilment, I love being of service, I love being desired. Sexuality - > creative expression, rooted in a lack of self love, further exploited to make money! [ROOT, SACRAL, SOLAR PLEXUS AND HEART IMBALANCE] Oh yesss the money. I am a beacon of lust, and it pays. Uh OH! wielding power like that one must be careful not to became a cash cow for slaughter [OOPS]! Layers of acting built up to the point of me feeling like I had lost myself entirely and was unsure of what was me and what was just a performance to please others' expectations of me. Now look. I felt pleasure in so much of my content! I find them irresistible! I treat the creation of my clips with much care and love. I muse at all the love sent through the web and buckets of cum milked in my name. I love the art, and I love seeing the impact of it on erotic appreciators. However, I disregarded my to such a degree that I became disconnected from values. There are moments indeed in which I see the use of my body as self harm. To be truthful, the TRAUMA BODY I walk out of this with is still holding that pain. I am reconciling with my relationship with self intimacy and connection to others. I took time off to see these things… then more time passed for the knowledge to settle into my bones. My, and once it did—- I was overcome with greif. I died. and I mourned. Is that relatable? Maybe that’s just the world we live in, sadly. Amazingly though, we can make it better everyday simply by being honest about our experiences and sharing <3 So you see, I recently became acutely aware of a base of resentment towards OUR backstory. You and I, dear reader/viewer/COOMER. How I love your gaze and reception of my creations. How sad it is that I built up major resistance towards connecting with you. I long to connect and understand you- and u me! I envision us enjoying a community of curated content that embraces porn with wisdom ehehehe. The connection I crave deeply. You see this was a deeply isolating experience, like I constructed myself a cage. As though I was trapped in the TOWER [arcana 16] [A HUGE PHALLUS], like the dragons I was slaying were actually toying with my body in their dungeons, all at the whim of the DEVIL and his puppet strings [arcana 15, the lovers in chains]. A relationship is a dance between the rhythms bounced between two people. What p.aralyzed me for some time was the knowing that I created the reality that I suffered within. The darkness of my own subconcious perpetuated the circumstances that k.illed my soul. This frightened me. I had done that to myself. I had neglected my education, my friends, family, my personal interests, my S E L F. I did so to possess my lover. As equally as they used me for security, I used them. I overnurtured them for control. Shadow play of the feminine and masculine. Control through soft comfort, Coercion through necessity of connection. It was a solo experience at a rave in which I observed people and their unhealthy attachment to one another I finally cut the cord and broke it off. I felt like I was wearing a mask all the time. Like I hadn’t seen my own face for so long I forgot who was behind it. Releasing myself from that spiritual bind was like a soul contract burning up in FLAMES. It was like breathing fucking air after coming out of a HERMETICALLY SEALED CHAMBER. Like waking up from 6 feet under and cutting through the fog of a haunted cemetary- I saw myself and slices of the world around me. So began processing all the programs built up over those years in a fuller sense. It brought me a perspective that I now wish to share... I know that our deepest wounds carry the equal ability to lift us and others. So, that’s the new direction. I’m to embark on my healing journey of sensuality and creation. This looks like reacquainting myself with sex, fetish, and personal passion. This will happen here, and you will get to watch<3. I plan to explore different activities and fetishes. dance, lewds, shibari, foot stuff, baths of water and sound. guest appearances from local MILFs. anyway I am so grateful to have foundations of a team and true connections with me now. Thanks for being here anytime you've found yourself in my lair, I feel much love from the appreciation of my work. May we dance with desire to rhythms that clarify and cure. Luv yu’s!<3